Dear Ol’ Marlen

Dear Marlen,

 

YOU ROCK.
THE END.
TO BE CONTINUED.

 

-Gina-

Dear Marlen,

How much one puts into this class, is how much he/she will get out of it, if not more. I have been growing so much through these blogs, your class, and from talking to others in the class. I love having the opportunity to actually get to know others in the class whether it’s through hearing what they have to say during class or through their blogs or poems. I apologize if my thoughts end up all over the place with this letter, there’s just so much. I love it. This class is beyond interesting. I actually look forward to coming to your class and seeing how it will be that day. There are times where your class is the best part of my day. To find others who actually care about their work and want to learn, is awesome in itself. I’m not the only one.

While there is a lot of reading to do, they are relevant. With Watership Down, it was definitely visual and I wanted to draw out scenes with crayons on the pages. But I decided against it just because it would take that much longer to finish. It was interesting enough to read, but I would fall asleep on my bed reading it. Now Power of Myth and Siddhartha on the other hand, I’m so glad that I own both books now. They make me think, reflect, and come out feeling more refreshed. Siddhartha was jam-packed with plenty of things to learn. I love that I could take the journey with Siddhartha. He definitely searched long and hard for that ultimate peace within himself. The peace was reached by moving past the whole mindlessly memorizing chants and things, becoming a clone with a limited life. I noticed how Govinda ended up asking Siddhartha for guidance in the end, when he wanted Siddhartha to be a monk like himself in the past. Govinda didn’t feel whole. A lot of us don’t feel whole. There’s no real, step by step director’s manual, of how to reach peace. Every person is different and goes through their own unique set of obstacles to obtain the peace in the end. I like that Siddhartha went through a deep belly of the whale moment, to the point that he was willing to end it all using that river. No, it’s not that part I like, I like the positive transformation that ocurred through that deeply dark time. I don’t know what it really takes to have a true inner peace, but I would love to find out how. I might have already taken the first step in desiring it. After I was done reading Siddhartha, the first thing I said a loud was, “So it all comes down to love” with a smile on my face.

“Govinda bowed low. Incontrollable tears trickled down his old face. He was overwhelmed by a feeling of great love, of the most humble veneration. He bowed low, right to the ground, in front of the man sitting there motionless, whose smile reminded him of everything that he had ever loved in his life, of everything that had ever been of value and holy in his life.” [Siddhartha]

I know I connect with nature. I can stand by a creek and stare at the water flowing, content with it all. I love the moon at night. I absolutely LOVE when there is PINK in the sky, along with other colors that join in. It automatically makes me smile in awe of it. If I’m outside, I’ll stop and stare. My friends have waited for me to be done looking at it before. This happened in front of Fosters after dinner last year. We three walked down the hill. Between Fosters and Davis, were dumpsters. At first glance, the dumpsters and trash laying around looks dirty and unappealing. But if you look beyond the negative view, you can see a bright, open sky. In a similar way, a situation we’re in may feel horrible to be in, but maybe all it takes it looking beyond the first glance.

A Hero’s Journey is real. I do believe we all have our own journeys. How is life not a journey? It must be so neat to teach this course, Marlen. You get the opportunity to push people to be real and to dig deeper then they may be used to doing. You get to know people as people, not just another set of students. Everything happens for a reason and the people you meet every semester that you teach, are a specific group of people. There’s some purpose behind this particular combination of people in this class. We are meant to share, open up, work through this journey together. I think it would be absolutely amazing if every person in this class took the time to get to know every other person in the class. It would be amazing if every person were to be friends with every other person in the class. This is definitely a different kind of class, in a good way. When deciding to choose between you and a woman teacher for this course, I read reviews previous students had made on that rate my proffesor site. The reviews on you gripped me more. What stood out was how everyone as a whole said it was worth taking despite the workload. What stood out even more was how so many people learned more about themselves through taking this class. I’m glad I didn’t let the 5-7 page paper warning, stop me from taking your class. I had never written an essay that long before. I was definitely curious as to what I would learn about myself through an english class. The way this class is and how it affects me, definitely isn’t what I was expecting. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I remember the first week that I was hesitant about writing out personal blogs that anyone in the class would be able to see. But I got used to it and value every little comment I get on any of my blogs or poems. I wish we weren’t limited to commenting just those in our group. I comment others blogs here and there or at least read other ones. I love learning about others. I like that the groups are being rearranged now. This opens up the opportunity to meet and get to know more people. This will be refreshing.

You pushing us to do more then the usual, wanting to hear our thoughts, and caring about us as people has a lot to do with making your class a priority. I wish I felt the way I do about this class, with every other class I have. That can be a challenge for myself, to learn how to enjoy every class I have. This way I’ll be more engaged in the classroom and look forward to what will be presented that day. Thank you for pushing us the way you do. I also like that you play music in the beginning of class and that you don’t like rows. It was strange to have rows while you were gone. I like everyone being all jumbled together, interacting. Classes usually consist of a teacher and however many students. The students tend to not converse with one another during or outside of class with the exception of group work. I basically want a way for people in our class to all meet each other. I want to be able to know every person in some way.

I would like to grow as a person through this class. I would like to learn to be more open and tear my wall down. I would like to make at least one solid friendship through this class that I could continue beyond this course, where we can both encourage each other on our journeys. I am always open to more friendships. I want to move beyond the superficial intro. Every person is a potential friend.

So far I have learned to be willing to share my thoughts and stories. Everything works together to work out in the end. Right now, I am learning to face what I’ve been avoiding, head on so I can move past it and become more free. Being free is a big thing with me. Some days I feel very lighthearted and free, other days I feel heavy hearted. I long for a nice balance.

I can pull an all nighter and still stay awake in your class.
Of course I eat then crash afterwards.
I manage to stay awake and alert to remain involved in your class.
I love it.

Things have been thrown at my heart recently, in different ways, through different people. All signs point to “Get out of your comfort zone NOW”. I do not want to stay in this one spot any longer. If I don’t do it now, when I’m very consciously realizing it needs to be done, then when will I? I made a best friend here at IUP last year, freshman year. We’re room mates this year. Tonight we had a very long, in depth talk. I definitely worked passed a wall that I have been putting up this entire time. It wasn’t until a couple weeks ago that a similar wall, existed for her too. Tonight I came out and admitted things. It was NOT easy. But I did it. This led to both of us being able to be so much more open then before and feeling more free. I know for a fact that we have grown so much closer from this. I do feel more free. I can be my total self now. We both don’t have to worry about the other person being judgmental. We don’t have to worry about being looked down upon. We both have such high respect for one another. We are not perfect. The way we live and think now, is not how we lived and thought in the past. We have learned from past mistakes, through our own belly of the whale moments, and became better people from it. We are working on accepting and being glad that the mistakes we have made, happened. They have shaped who we are today. I’m excited for where our friendship will go from here.

Love Always and Love Completely.
Sincerely,

Gina Young Bayne

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