A Second Letter for You

Dear Marlen,

It felt strange for class to end for good. It definitely has been a different kind of class to go through. It is certainly the most memorable. The readings/concepts that struck out the most to me, was Siddhartha, Monomythic Journey, peace, freedom, love, and Power of Myth. I’ve gone through noticeable changes. My friends have even picked up on it. My poetry book shows the kind of journey I’ve taken this semester. I went from being more closed up to gradually being more open as a person. Walls have been taken down or are in the process of being taken down. Okay, I need to stop treating this as something too formal. This is to you, specifically. Between you and I. Okay. I’m starting over.

Hey Marlen.

I’m really going to miss coming to this class, next semester. I really hope I get to take class with you a second time around. If not, I’ll have to visit or something. It’ll be my last semester here too. I’m looking to transfer to Salisbury so I can be in an in-state school. IUP costs too much out of state. What I’ll miss the most are the friendships. I’ve made some genuine, close friendships. I have constants in my life here. I lost my I-Card this weekend so I’m not really eating anything. I feel like I’m fasting. Maybe I should treat it as fasting, it can be a new journey in itself of a spiritual growth. Nah, I’ll go for free pancakes tonight. “Living in the Moment” is so important to do. There are times where I forget to live by that. If I dread the inevitable or fear the future, I’m not living in the moment. At this very moment, I don’t want to leave my friends here, at all. I just have to keep in mind, to enjoy being with them the best I can, while I can. Make the most out of limited time instead of dwelling on anything but where we already are. Things will work out for good and fall into place the way they should. I’ll go to a new school and fall in love with that place too. Something I say a lot is, ‘Love where you already are’.

I think there should be more involvement with the ‘Awakening the Heroes Within’ and ‘Power of Myth’ books. It would definitely be beneficial in growing as a person and the way we see the world. We were required to read all these different texts and watch all these videos within the same night, that my priority on which to do were the ones required to know about or use for class or the blogs. I tried to get everything read. There were just times I was too exhausted to do it all. I know it’s my responsibility to find a way to balance everything out. Speaking of balance, I placed such high priority to this class that I cared less about the other classes I’ve taken. I had an 8am Geography class to go to right before your 9am. If I skipped that class, I didn’t care as long as I got to your class. Bad mistake. I screwed myself over in geo class. I’m in a pattern of ‘screw up fall semester’ and ‘do awesome spring semester’. I love the morning so I thought it’d be refreshing to take an 8am, I would get to see how pretty the sky is on the way to class. But no. I always stay up ridiculously late. I can show up to class but not really be there. Anyways. I think there should be discussions and activities directly related to those two books. I wish I had met, gotten to know more people then I did. I liked it when we got to change up the groups, being with different people. Overall, it doesn’t go past a simple ‘hey what’s up’ kind of conversation after the first day. I guess I’m just tired of the superficial. That I want to meet new people and move past the impression we give off. I can also work on the friendships I already have. I’ve lived with my own mind all this time, what are others’ minds like? Being alive tomorrow isn’t promised, so be your all, today.

Everything comes down to freedom, being free, living with a free spirit, not caring what others think, living in the moment, being yourself, enjoying where you already are, loving yourself & loving others.

I made a facebook group earlier today called “Being Free” and I absolutely love it!! There’s 117 members so far. It’s off to a good start. I want people to get involved, actually interact with this group instead of it becoming ‘just another group that sounds good’. I want people to share thoughts, opinions, pictures, videos, anything. The positivity is inspiring. I want people to be able to read things on this page and be able to get something helpful and good out of it. As long as people continue to be a part of the group, it will keep going. Living with freedom is a lifelong thing, not some phase. We are all connected in some way. We all deserve to be free. We are all capable of feeling and living this way. I want to be able to share what I see, with others. It’s not easy to show the beauty of the world, to someone who sees no hint of beauty in much of anything. I want to reach out to people in positive ways. I want to spread joy. I want people to feel good about who they are, to love themselves. I want people to desire being free and to go after it, knowing it is achieveable. This doesn’t mean that belly of the whales won’t come our way, that we won’t ever be sad/angry/depressed/broken/disappointed/shocked/hurt/stuck/etc. It simply shows that there is always a light there, it’s a matter of whether we see and follow it or not. I think we all have an inner light. We also get to choose how much to share. I don’t think our inner lights are meant to be kept away forever. When we need to be able to see at night, we carry a flashlight; a source of light to help us through the dark. If we all have an inner light meaning we can push through anything. If our light feels dim, which it surely can, others’ lights can help us through the dark too. We aren’t meant to be alone. There are plenty of people who have joined this group, who don’t know each other, which is great. Freedom or the desire to be free, connects us all. Every person clicked ‘Accept’ for some reason. Everyone has a voice, I would love to hear each one. I just have this great desire to learn to be free, which I’m getting closer to for sure. I’ve acted upon what I say all the time, “Perspective changes everything” by changing the way I look at something that weighs me down. As I change the way I see things and the focus of my mind, things change for the better.

Learn it. Live it. Love it.

Marlen, you’ve done so much for me. If I hadn’t taken this course with you and particpated the way I did, I don’t know where I would be in the relationship I have with myself, as in the way I see myself/treat myself/carry myself/see the world/etc. Everything is the way it should be. The power of the mind, has been revealing itself to me. I have pushed myself to not hold back. Be yourself and you will be rejected. Be yourself and you will be accepted. That acceptance greatly outweighs any amount of rejection. Thanks for all the laughs, being straightforward, saying whatever’s on your mind…”Okay, time to watch some titties”. Or the time you pointed me out as the only white girl in my group, being the one to interpret “The Color Purple”. Yeah, that wasn’t putting me on the spot or awkward at ALL. I’m guessing that every single person has felt noticed at some point within this semester with you. You single them out, try to get them talking. Keep that up. It makes a difference. I love that you’re willing to read these long letters and midterm papers that we write. Granted, you are an english teacher. But for you to read through all of this, give feedback, AND remember who wrote what for the most part, is pretty impressive. Your love for this job, clearly shows. If your love or passion for it ever ceases, something is up. I am incredibly fortunate to have been able to take this class with you this semester. It is life-changing. This semester has been a turning point in my life. Right now my life points to freedom. That is where my heart lies, and that is where I’m walking to. I’ll take as many people as I can with me. We can all be in this together.

I hope you will always continue to shine your light on everyone in your life. You plant SO many seeds. You may not always get to see where your students end up, where their journeys take them, who they influence, how much they grow, etc. but know that you are constantly planting seeds. You get to witness these seeds sprout and begin to grow. Isn’t it amazing? You bring us to life. You wake us up. You introduce a new kind of light. It made me happy to hear you sing the other morning! I didn’t know you could sing! I’m glad you decided to share your voice instead of holding back. That kept me smiling. Oh! I just now noticed something. I proved myself to be a “Magician” today. (That’s my strongest archetype according to the book) Through the transformation of my mind and thoughts, I held the power to heal myself. Quite amazing, actually. I’ve never done it this quickly before. What weighed my spirit down, I had to look at in a different way, a more positive way, and change my focus. A friend of mine told me how I had to build a bridge and get over it, and so I did, and did it completely fast. The friend thought that was a bad thing, but I see it as a good thing. Why dwell on the negative when so much good can come out of it? He went on to say that if you don’t experience sadness, then how can you appreciate joy? I sure know what sadness feels like already. Like I said, why dwell? No need. It’s just hard to get out of sometimes, but it all depends on the way you see the circumstance.

I admire your dedication, persistance, humor, care, leadership, and love that you share. Thank you for taking the time to listen to and read what I have to say. I’m not just another student who comes and goes. Neither is anyone else. You enjoyed your time with us all, as we did with you. I’m going to be an elementary school teacher one day so now I’m wondering what I can take from your teacher-student relationship style, into my own classroom one day. I will definitely see every child as a person with a lot of potential. I’ll push them to be the best they can be. I will encourage the children to be comfortable being themselves. I will encourage unity. I want my classroom to be a sort of safe haven for the children to enjoy coming to. Even if they aren’t having a good day, I want them to feel comfortable being there, loved no matter what.

Continue doing what you do, reaching many lives as you go. I hope the best for you and your family. I hope you love wherever you end up with your next job offer. This course was more then just books and videos. You’ve allowed us to take something more then ‘things to memorize’, from this class. You’ve given me direction. A new purpose. To learn how to be free and get others to go in that direction too.

Much love & hugs,

-Gina Bayne-

I don’t even want to end this letter.
It just seems to signify ‘the end’ of this whole thing.
So here I go, typing and typing.
Okay, I’ll stop using up your eyesight’s strength.
I love you. Thanks for everything.
I have to accept this end, so I can enter a new beginning.
That’s me, Gina, always starting over, starting fresh, dancing her nights away.
<3

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=254555870960

I believe this group has lots of potential.
It’s a matter of whether people act upon the potential or not.
I love it I love it I love it I love it I LOVE IT.

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